Report card, the big shit....

going to get my report card of this term on this Saturday 22nd

aannddd....

i dont know how it will be

i hope its good and i dont have any remedials :|

and my mom is not willing to take the report card.

i dont know~ i dont wanna know~

haisss

poor me -_-

A True Friend

So, i read a novel earlier this morning. it was greattttt. i literally cries TvT
here's a quote from the novel

"A true friend knows your weakness

but shows you your strength

 feels your fears but fortifies your faith

sees your anxieties but free your spirit

recognize your disabilities

but emphasizes your possibilities"

by the way,the novel is Morning Light. written by Windhy Puspitadewi

Lemme tell you how's living without phone feels like

LAME.

My Ambition

now that im at eleventh grade, im starting to wonder how the future me will be. what will i be in 8years?

well, you also know that my parents are not rich. but thats not a problem.
even if people always look down on me because im not rich. i would never go down :)
money is not everything,
i know it right. i have been in that darkest moment that no one would ever want to know.
but here i am, living a happy life. not really happy. at least yeah hahaha and what more important is i have people who care for me around me :)

i want to be a pharmacist. i want to be a scientist. it feels great to help people.
i want to be doctor. of course i do. but it cost much money and take so many years to graduate. and they are too many doctors nowadays, feel like a waste if i also want to be a doctor.
one of my cousins once asked me 'do you want to be the boss or the worker?'
it makes me think. everyone would answer that they want to be the boss. i want too.
but seems like im going to be the worker first.
she asked me to take another major. cause taking pharmacy wouldnt success? yeah something like that.
so i think to my self.
i enjoy pharmacy. i love working with those medicines. reading the doctor's awful writing, helping people, it just feels great.
and i want to work in Kalbe. one of the biggest factory in south asia.
they told me they get a good salary there. enough to let em buy an iPad with just working for a month. isnt that kinda much? hahaha

and i want to be like that guy at Bones. yeah, that tv series. inventing vaccine, looking at the tiny little creature through microscope *.*

my friend once asked me, 'will you get married first or what?'
well, i want to get married. but i want to be success first. isnt it great to not having to burden your hubby later? and survey shows that success women often success on their marriage too. hohoho
"it feels better to cry on a Ferrari than crying on a bicycle" ;)
ganbatte people! we can do it! ^^ and wish me luck too O:)

My dad took my phone :(

i didnt answer his call. yeah he called 3 times. my phone was on silent so i didnt hear it.
so just that, he told me i may not use my phone.
till when? dont know :|

that makes me hard to communicate with everyone. especially, him.
but i think not having a phone is good too.
well, i value my time and my life.
hahaha
when i have a phone, its like i can just sit there for hours, replying those bbms, doing nothing.
but now, i cant see messy things. i messed the room, and i'll just tidy it up again,
feeling like a neatfreak but it feels much better ._.

and well, i feel like im a too attached girlfriend, maybe with this, i can train my self to not be like possessive?
dont know. feel like im the one who always get too much in this relationship. my friend said i should give less, and a man should give more. lets try then. i dont think i can :x

Yooooo!!

feels so long since I last posted anything here
well, it's exams season
im busy studying and stuff
soooo.... here's the story of the month

Last Monday (Dec 3rd) someone said he's not coming back to Dumai because he will be busy for college preparation. And I believed! Guess what happens? Yeah. He showed up at my cousin's coffeeshop! He said it was a surprise -,- i cant believe he could trick me twice! yeah TWICE! the first was on my birthday. hahaha
but well I'm happy :$ no one could make me happier than he could.

It seems like been a year since we are in this relationship. but we dont know when is the Anniversary.
this is funny xD we are not like other couples. yeah, we are awesome B)
so last night, we make a deal for the Anniversary. We'll celebrate it on this 17!

its like this when it comes to most of other couple
Le boyfriend : "hey i like you, would you like to be my girlfriend?"
Le girlfriend : "aww me too. thanks"
celebrate 1st month anniversary a month later, and broke up in the 3rd month.

while it comes to us *after being 'friends' for 3 years
him : "actually, i love you"
me : "i love you too"
its not that short though, but i make it short. The matter is that, we are much simpler than others B) i cant remember when the last we quarreled. oh well, we never really have a quarrel. lol

at last, here's what i wanna say.
i find him amazing. it might be scary to say since im still 16 but yeah, i love him.♥

Busy Me

Soooooo
because nowadays' lessons are hard to catch and i kinda like not concentrating in classroom, i took tuition.
its just for math, chemistry, and physics.
kinda good. i passed last physics test and got a perfect score for chem. but i havent know my result on math. bet this one will sucks -_-

oh well i am also preparing for SBL's dance competition. it was basically cheerleaders competition but because of this and that, they change it to dance. so far, we have made the concept :D

and i am now a part time english teacher :D
i teach 7 to 9 grader. i somehow feel awesome. mwehehe xD

but its all nothing without the motivation and cheers given by my parents, my boyfriend and you guys, my friend.
you are all what keeps me going to achieve more and more.

thanks<3

School sucks

waking up at 5 every morning. and get home by 4. how is it not exhausting?
and because those subjs are kinda hard, i took tuition too.
and my classmates......they are all like smart? they cant be underestimated.
tomorrow im going to have 1st chemistry daily test. wish me tons of luck!
i hope i can go through these all.
the pressure, burdens. every stepping stones.
and someday im going to look back and said 'I did it!'

having him and amazing friends like you all and my absolutely superwonderful parents to motivate me,
im sure i can do it :D

oh by the way, i got chose as the first chairwoman of my school's english club.
i feel awesome!!! thanks! xoxo.

Its Happiness

yo, readers! miss me? :B
hohoho i have a life now i wont be online as much as how i used to be

well, exams are over and the results were good
my reports were good too!
its great really!
i got 2nd rank in my class. its amazing.
its been 4years i miss this position
i feel like im on top again
as if im young
thanks to chenlai, anggun, memey, fegi, atika, eki, nia ahh too much too mention. just everyone!
thanks guysss! im so happy!
its June 23rd and this report thingy surely makes my day
no, it seems to makes my years
after all this time. being so tired, that burden, seems to go far awayyyy

and my dad seems to be so proud of it that he said that he would like to buy me a camera! (which i was going to buy with my own money ><)
hahaha

if you ask me to exchange this feeling with million dollars, i'd still choose this feeling
not everyone can feel it
but anyone can get million dollars if they work for it.
this feeling is special.

feeling of being loved, proud of. so welcomed. so warm.

its just no words best describes it.
thanks to you. thanks to all<3 love ya! xoxo

Aloha! Seems like Blogger is improving it's look. ahaha well i prefer the old one.
the simplier, the better
but this new one look nice too :D

oh well, been havin hard times at school this few months
assignments and assessments. yeah asses everywhere!XD
going to have my term exams next Monday on June 4th
im so not ready!
wish me luck. x

Lets see back then

I was like a little girl searching her own tracks to know what is life. And then you come.
we text a lot. And i can feel that you have something to me. It's the way you treated me, the way you talk to me.
I was afraid. So i ask you to date my cousin. (that was the stupidest decision i've ever made i swear!)

and time goes by and people start ask me to date him date him date him and yeah. i dated some guys, had feelings for them and feel lost.

you know, all i think about the past is that they're just the stepping stones in my teenage life. they're just those lessons in order for me to grow. i know how's people, i can read if they're nice or bad, its all because these experiences. and you know that you're the biggest part of my teenage life. you were always there for me. until now.

you dont need to feel you should beat who beat who. you are already what i want. you are all i need.
you dont need to be jealous of them. i know you just afraid of losing me. but you already here. you're the one. what are you afraid of? okay, sometimes i like it when you get jealous ;3 but too much jealousy makes me feel like i dont know what to do ==

and i do get jealous too sometimes. when you're with those friends of yours who are girls of course. cause yeah im afraid. what if i lose you? what if you choose them instead of me? what if you treat me different because of them? what if?

you need to know that i enjoy talking with guys. most of my friends are guys. you were one too remember?
but at school, we only talk. no holding hands, walking side by side, lunch together. there's no such a thing.
we only talk and laughs at jokes. no touchytouchy -_- and also when im with those guys, im not the only girl there. i know how to treasure  my self. if i cant treasure my self then there's no use you treasure me right?
i know.
then there comes last night, you said such a deal like "its okay for you to go out with those guys, dont get jealous when im with those girls too okay"
its like wth man, i dont go out with them. if i ever go out with them its when we had some assignments by group and some other urgents like when i was sick at school and the class' chairman brings me home remember?
we dont need that deal what. how can i dont get jealous? you know what? the way you told it to me is like asking for my agreement to cheat on me. and you end it with "night!:)" dafuq?
i reply it with :):) cant you see they're fake?!
gahh
we dont need that stupid deal. i know where i stand and you know where you stand. we're in this relationship. you sure know there're those lines between you and your friends. i know too.
we put the US in TRUST babe. remember?
there's not a thing that gonna change my love for you.

damn. waiting for 2pm seems so long -_-

Future?

"How's your school?" Fine.
"What you gonna be when you're older?" I dont know yet.

Im sick of these questions I got when I met those strangers who acquire themselves as my mom's friends or some relatives that I've never see ==
And yeah, I've been thinking about it though.

Seems like my school gonna be just fine. I sometimes hate it but I also enjoying it. I often compare my school to my old school too. But now, I think I get it. Times goes on. Everything changes and you can't help but accept it. I'm starting to enjoy those stupid jokes by my classmates.

What am I gonna be? A doctor, pharmacist, engineer, anthropologist, teacher, a public relation? or simply a business woman or a lovely wife? lol I dont know what I want to be.
When I was younger, I want to be a vet cause I love dogs. Everytime I see a dog, I pointed at it and say "Mom, look! doggy! can we bring him home?" hahaha at least thats what my mom told me. And in SMP I want to be an engineer, teacher and public relation -_-" and now, I'm starting to think that maybe I might just be a pharmacist. It only takes like 4 years in college. Then I'll be 21 when I graduated. Then I'll be working in the city for 4 years and get married when I turns 25<3 hahaha! see? well-planned ;p

Perfect Two

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterfly I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your sidekick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause you're the one for me
And I'm the one for you
You take the both of us
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be your dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together


Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause you're the one for me
And I'm the one for you
You take the both of us
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two


You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know that I can't live without ya

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle


Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause you're the one for me
And I'm the one for you
You take the both of us
And we're the perfect two


We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You know what? I feel like i can relate to this song. Its so true! Every line of this song is just ahh<3 hahaha! and i do think we're the perfect two. I complete you and you complete me. and i can see my self walking down the aisle. with you of course<3 ><
Thats what people says. When you're in love, those silly love songs seems to make sense ;;)

Modern Family

Been watching this tv series lately
lemme tell you the storyline
its about Jay Pritchett who sits at the head of a large and unconventional family. Now he's in his second marriage with a gorgeous young wife, Gloria, Jay has been given something of a second chance. Still, old habits are hard to break, and it's trial by fire as he tries to adapt to life with the same passion and vigor that Gloria exhibits, which are matched by her precocious 12-year-old son, Manny. There are some culture clashes, a few misunderstandings, but also plenty of sweet victories along the way. Jay's grown daughter, Claire, and her husband, Phil, are the proud parents of three kids with whom they want that open, healthy, honest relationship. It's not always easy, especially when you have Haley, a teenage daughter who's growing up a little fast, Alex, a too-smart-for-her-own-good middle daughter and Luke, a scatterbrained boy. Add to this that Phil is just a big kid himself, even if he does always have the best intentions.

and its funny! you know how the family have the straights, gays, multicultural ahhh thats just beautiful!
my favorite is Manny! he's 12 but talks like 21!
he's a sweet little guy indeed

see? he's cute! ;;)

am watching to season 2 noww :3

he e e e e lo o o o

here we are in April!
and the seniors will be doing their final exams on next Monday
wish 'em luck ;D

i got 4days off which is kinda making me feel relieved but
yeah there's always that shitty but -_-
i got like tons of homeworks to do!
scumbag teacher
ask us to do homework but dont have time to grade our papers what -_-

and btw we're having that term test at 2nd week of June!
gaaahhhhh
so damn fasttt

and lately i've been havin problem with this trigos -_-
okay they're fun but i just hate it
-__-"

here we are :)

he's now here in town
breathin the same air with me
ya know, im getting pretty excited to see him
and yeah we've met for like 3times?
hahaha
im happy havin him around
i love the way he smiles
the way he hugs me
kiss me
tease me
the way he told me he loves me
and when im in those arms
i feel real safe
real comfortable
ahhh
lame? thanks. yes i am
hahaha

i know you're reading this :p
anyway, if there ever goes a day by that i forget to tell you i love you,
im sorry. i want you to know that i do. i always do.
xoxo

Page 88 of 366

i know its hard to be in this distance
and its like i've been busy with school and stuffs lately
but you know what?
when i dont talk to you, that does not mean im not thinking about you
call me lame
but thats true
do i fall to you?
do i love you?
do i care about you?
YES!
absolutely yes.
i fall hard
i love you much
there's no a second where i dont think of you
you just keep crosses my mind

actually, you dont have to worry about anything
you're the one.
you know that
and you will always be.
but that does not mean you can treat me all the way you want to.
that does not mean you can break me. hurt me.

but no im not talking like you're hurting me.
im just afraid
its just i hope that you wont.
cause i believe you wont do so.

its such a hard time to both of us
you're having your exams
and me here
i've been busy with my school's project

and yeahhh
Good Luck!
for you, for me, for us.
<3

know me or know me not?

i dont know.

I'm sorry

sometimes, i get jealous thinking that someone else
could make you happier than i could
i guessed its my insecurities acting up
cause i know im not perfect
im not the prettiest, smartest
or most fun and exciting
but
i do know that no matter
how long and how hard you look
you'll never find somebody that loves you like i do.

Trust is like paper

everyone calls me pathetic. but i dont care. im still standing here anyway.

denying this feeling for years

and now i can let it all out

isnt it great that i can stop telling everyone that i just treat you as bestfriend or bro?

yes i am happy

so happy that i can study very well

hahah

i have passed 2 math test, and 1 chem test

i used to always have to retake the test cause i failed

i dont know

you seems to be my strength

but i die a little inside when they ask "so, what's your relationship with him?"

"i dont know. but we love each other :)"

yes i dont know what is this we're going through

but im sure this is true

some says that you might just be another heart-breaker

but i know you are not

i keep convincing myself you are not.

i dont know

call me pathetic.

but i have faith in you.

Mr. One and Only

so here we come
lets talk about this one man
yeah
my man ;;)
he used to be my best friend
and we're still best friend anyway
but he's also my lover
ahahah
i know right! im luckyyy ;p
and yeahh
i love how things just comes up naturally when im with him
i dont worry on how i looks like to him
i even runs up to him in my pajama
i dont care
and its like he doesnt care either
its really nice to know that we love each other that much
i love him the way he is, he love me the way i am
just simple as it is
simple but beautiful <3

how about my mother?

oh well, she just gave me birth
i dont know
but i dont really feel like we have some connections
yeah you know what i mean
i love my mom.
my mom.
not my mother.

my mom

she's the woman of my life
she brighten my day
we might argue much
but i know that she love me
she's a no other
she's my best friend, my sister, my guardian, my mom.
and there's nothing i would not do for her
she just dont know that i love her much too
she may not be the woman who gave me birth, but she raised me up really well
i somehow still thanked god cause i have such a great mom
yeah mom, i love you <3

my mom and my mother

heyya! long time no post
i miss ya all, readers!
hohoho
so, this chinese new year, i went to sungai pakning again
and people there talk like 'my mom' and 'my mother'
yeahh at first, when they talk about it like 3 or 4 years ago, i dont believe it
i thought it was just rumors
but somehow my mom told me a story that points out that it IS NOT rumors
its true
yeah, true.

Happy New Year 2012

here we are in 2012
2011 was so exhausting.
there were too much drama
all i wanna do in this 2012 is just
get a really nice grade
and no drama
but one thing that i surely want here is to be with you
yah with you, living a happily ever after :)