R.I.P i miss you damn much

ji-dek. thats how i called him
he was the best ji dek ever!
for those of you who curious what is ji-dek or who is he
lemme tell you
jidek is my pop's younger bro
we are Hainan. so i called him ji-dek
he used to live at a little town named Sungai Pakning

he was a great chef!
i love his cook
and he also loves to cook for me!

every year in chinese new year, we go to Pakning
to celebrate it with family

and when i arrived there
he ALWAYS be the first who ask
"xiu, what do you want to eat?" or "are you hungry?"
he really loves to cook for me
more than his daughter
can you imagine? haha :')

my favorite foods are his fried eggs, seafood, and gosh i think whatever he cooks, i'd love it much :|

beside that, when i was a little girl, he ALWAYS accompany me go take a walk in the evening.
sometimes we go by motorcycle :')
when you show me the poop-ing cow, that was the happiest time for me
i would never forget that

and i also used to love sit near you
i love the way you telling me stories
i love the way everything you do

now, im 14 years old
im going to grow mature
im going to get to high school
im going to have a new life
but
the new life which no you inside

why no you?
because
you just went too far
to a place i couldnt reach
maybe someday, i would go there to accompany you

what you need to know is
im missing you, everytime my heart beat
im missing you, in every breath i take
and im missing you in every single day in my life
or even seconds
i do really miss you..
yeah i miss you much.

and when it was the day you went away
that was the darkest day when fear crept into my mind

every single memory that we ever had
are all comes out through my tears
i cant count my tears because i cant count how many memories that have been spent with you

sometimes when im alone
i smell formalin
it smell exactly like what i smell in that dark day

and everytime i smell something like that
i remember you

its like you with me when i feel so alone
you know i hate to be alone
so you come and accompany me

but, everything's different
no words from you
yeah
almost nothing remains

so, what you have to note?
i miss you and all about you
i miss your laugh
i miss your voice
i miss the way you clothed
i miss the way you try to make me amused
i miss..
i miss.. every seconds with you

i hate to see you in that pale bluish skin
i hate to touch your cold body
i hate it when i cant bend your hand

you're freezing.
you rot
and you now in pieces of bones
and dusts

Rest In Peace, buddy.